Squish, Splat - Ew! Sensory Descriptions in Horror Stories, by Stephanie Barnfather
A craft article
“The vampire sunk his teeth into the maiden’s neck and drank her blood.”
Classic horror description, right? We know the drill: monster, victim, brutal act of brutality. Horror is fairly formulaic. But what takes a story from eerie to EEEP!? Sensory descriptions.
“A shadow moved in the corner of the room. The girl turned, and the slither of centuries-old skin sliding across the battered hardwood floor reached her ears. Before she could move, a cold reptilian hand stretched out of the darkness to wrap itself around her shoulder. Blood filled the girl’s mouth—she’d bit her lip—and she almost choked as the metallic taste of certain death flooded her tongue. The girl pulled away but the hand held her close as the vampire moved in, clouding her head with his sharp scent of predatory arrogance.”
Visceral, right? Your heart is pounding, your mouth has gone dry, and you can almost feel the vampire’s incisors pierce your skin. That’s good horror. So tick the boxes next to your sensory checklist and give your readers the response they crave.
1. Sight: Colour. Size. Scale. Movement. What we perceive impacts our read, so don’t be afraid to go gruesome.
2. Sound: Similes can conceptualize audible essence (‘the demon purred like a tiger getting its tummy rubbed’) but you can’t miss the mark with a well-placed onomatopoeia. Squish! Splat! Ew.
3. Touch: Remember the Three Ts: Texture! Temperature! Type! Is the beast’s tail smooth, bumpy, or sharp? Is the wind frigid, warm, or fiery? Did the corpse fall onto a surface that was dense, viscous, or undulating? Keep going: your readers are hooked.
4. Taste: Hone in on the roof of your mouth and your tongue—and use your palate to guide your writing: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and savoury (or umami).
5. Smell: What stinks? Garbage. Smoke. Decaying plants. The list goes on. Our sense of smell can recall powerful emotions, so use this sense wisely. And when I say wisely, I mean be disgusting. Stomachs should churn when you describe the cloying scent of clotting blood.
Our basic senses can create vividly horrific stories, but—much like the shining in Stephen King’s book by the same name—don’t forget the vibes that exist on the fringe of our consciousness. Find a way to capture the feelings you can’t quite grasp. Your storytelling will be richer (and wilder) for it,
About the Author:
Stefanie Barnfather is a Canadian author. Previously, she worked for the Calgary Board of Education as a high school arts and inclusion educator. Stefanie graduated with honours from Sheridan College's Music Theatre - Performance program, and has a BFA and BED in fine arts from the University of Calgary. When she isn’t writing, Stefanie enjoys painting, hiking, and spending time with her husband and pug.
Her debut collection of short stories - You Know What I Think? - ranked first on the Calgary Herald's bestselling fiction list in 2023.
Stefanie's second novel - Beneath the Birch Trees - releases 09/24.
Follow her on Instagram and TikTok @stefbarnfather